Hello friends! I hope your week has treated you well and that you are looking forward to another spring weekend. I was a little stumped on what to blog about this week mainly because I think the Sephora Sale wiped me out 😂. Not really however, I was still unsure of what I wanted to share with you guys. In recent weeks, I found myself cowering down in certain situations, feeling bad for some of the emotions I was feeling, and finding excuses for the times where I just didn’t feel “right”. I know recently I have been able to turn to my friends (you know who you are) that I’m so grateful for to talk about all of the internal troubles I seem to have been wrestling with.
To be fair, there isn’t just one facet of life that these feelings could creep into. Anything from work, friends, relationships, health, mentally, could all be relevant to what I’m talking about. It’s important for me to remember that when I start to feel like I may not be worth the trouble of …xyz…, that I remember that it’s most likely my inner enemies getting the best of me. I think we all struggle with those little voices in our head from time to time but at least in my case, mine have been making their presence known to me recently. I feel like I may be rambling a bit and going in a circle but I promise I do have a point lol. I hope that when I do share these types of posts, that someone else out there doesn’t have to feel alone if they are walking through a similar season in their life.
Anyway, back on track. I’m going to provide an example so that we can at least have a scenario in our heads. I’ll take my health for example. After battling with my diagnoses from last year (if you are confused, feel free to read my first post back to blogging here), I started to panic that I didn’t have enough answers from various doctors that I saw. The longer the time passed with few answers on how I would continue to live my life, the more frustrated I got and started to feel like my questions weren’t that important. Others probably had way worse issues than I did so why was I bothering the doctors? Maybe I was overthinking it? I didn’t realize this at the time, but now that I can reflect back on this type of situation, I know that I was just letting myself sink into the background. I want to be able to catch myself in these types of situations diminishing my worth. Of course I’m worthy enough to know answers about MY body, or bringing up MY concerns at work on a certain project, or advocating for MY emotions in my relationship. There are so many instances that I have to either stand up for myself or stand my ground in what I am feeling/saying- that it’s important for me to trust my gut and know that at the end of the day, the only person has to live with my life choices is me, so why doubt myself, my decisions, or my worthiness.
Sometimes instead of facing the issue, I can easily try to turn to ways of masking my negative emotions. The most infamous culprit is shopping or online shopping. In the moment, I feel sad or down so I go shopping (one of my favourite ways to spend time) and then think I want to buy material items. Once I have made my purchases, I am happy for only a few min after and then I go right back to the previous negative emotions that I was otherwise trying to suppress. Now of course this is a dangerous slope to go down, but this is exactly why I have been focusing on reflecting internally rather than turning to material items to get myself out of a ~funk~.
Sure, it’s easy enough to say “yeah, I know I’m worth it” but BELIEVING it is a whole other ball game. This is the part that I could argue is the most challenging. I definitely haven’t figured this part out yet but the best that I can explain it is to give yourself time and grace throughout this challenging process. It has taken me a long time to trust my gut but I am a heck of a lot farther in my journey than in former years. I think staying home for the majority of the past year due to the pandemic has left me in a frenzy of emotions…. and I’ve had to face them head on because there’s not really any place to hide from your thoughts during a shutdown lol. However, even though I wasn’t thrilled with this fact last spring, I’ve learned a lot about myself since then and am much more comfortable with feeling and understanding my various emotions as they arise. As you can tell from this blog post, my mind goes a mile a minute so I hope you’re following along with me. If there is ever any doubt in your mind, just remember that you are worth every good thing that may come into your life… and that you believe it.🤍 Take some time for yourself this weekend and enjoy it! Thanks for reading along!
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*All thoughts and opinions are my own and the images used in this post belong to me.